Evan is a very vibrant and independent little boy. He only needs me when he wants to need me. He isn’t much of a cuddler unless it’s on his terms so when moments arise like last night, I take full advantage. He’s been a bit under the weather for much of the week like myself, but he hasn’t really asked for much in terms of comfort. Last night however, he awoke in the middle of the night and wasn’t feeling so hot. I could tell he wasn’t comfortable, so I sat on the floor in his room with my back against his crib and cradled his 30 pound body in my arms. I stroked his hair and he just laid there looking at me like he couldn’t have asked for anything better. Tears fell down my cheeks because in that moment, I was taken back to the first day I ever held him which was 5 days after he was born.
No mother should ever have to wait 5 days to hold her child nor should they have to leave the hospital without their child or children, but many of us mothers who have preemies know this all too well. I actually left the hospital to go home without ever holding Evan putting all my faith into women I didn’t know but had no choice but to trust. The moment the nurse laid his little naked body against my warm skin, is something that I will never forget; that feeling of unconditional love. It’s something more overpowering than I ever imagined it to be and it’s the most rewarding feeling in the world.
Life has become so busy and so hectic, that when “Mom Moments" like these happen to me, it allows me to stop for a second and truly be thankful for what I am doing. Raising two beautiful boys.