As my heart broke into a thousand tiny little pieces, I explained to him that Alex needs help with things. There are things that he cannot do on his own which is why I have to help him. I went on to explain how he (Evan) is very independent and he can do all of those things on his own.
Then I realized that even though he has proven to be more and more independent lately, he still needs me....and that made me feel good. It has been bothering me how independent he has become. I know his need for me will become less and less the older he gets, but it is hard as a mother to let go. So, when he said all of this to me this morning, I happily offered to help him get dressed, help him brush his teeth and give him a few extra minutes of undivided attention that he not only needs but deserves.
Once that happened, he was fine. We all ate breakfast together and then when it was his turn to wait for the bus, I said to him after he gave me a kiss..."Will you always give me kisses"? His response was: "When I get older like 6th grade, I will give you a kiss in the house, not out here". When I acted like my feelings were hurt, he said "Just Kidding!". But I know deep down, he wasn't because I remember going through that same faze growing up and I know he will too. I also know, that he will come out of that faze and want to give me kisses again, because he will always love me just like I love my Mom.
I know that I give more of my attention to Alex, not because I mean to, but because that is the way it is because of his needs. Evan has always been a very independent kid, and I am thankful for that. I just need to realize that sometimes he needs that extra love, and undivided attention from me even when I don't realize it. I never want him to feel unloved....because he isn't. I love him so much more than he knows!!
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