Many of you already read my post on Facebook about taking the kids out last Sunday and what an embarrassment they were. I will provide some details here for those of you who are wondering what happened.
I decided to take the kids up to the mall just to get out of the house on Sunday for a bit and to walk around and get some exercise. I always go into things thinking they will be okay and rarely they ever are. Almost every time we go out whether it be me alone with the kids or as a family unit, "shit always hits the fan".
My BIGGEST problem with parenting Evan right now is his inability to listen to ANYTHING I say. It's as if I am talking to a wall. He ignores me completely which just makes me even more angry. If it isn't that, then I have to repeat myself over and over and over again. Also, resulting in me getting mad which leads to me yelling which I do not like to do. With Alex, he cannot communicate verbally with me outside of yelling and being loud when he gets mad or hungry or needs something.
After this past Sunday and what went down at the mall (which I will get to in a minute) I decided that it was time for me to take a step back and look at myself and see what I am doing wrong. A three year old surely isn't going to change over night which meant that it was time for me (as his parent) to step up.
We got to the mall just before lunch. I figured we had enough time to walk half way through, stop grab some lunch and then move on. We have a certain routine we follow when we go there. It is usually all of the places that Evan needs to go and see. As we got into the mall, he started walking too far ahead of me and Alex (who is in his stroller), so I asked him on more than one occasion to come back and walk next to the stroller and directly in front of me. Now, mind you, the mall wasn't horribly busy yet but there were enough people that I wanted him to be close by. Another thing he will do is not pay attention and run into people which was another reason I wanted him next to me. Our first stop was going to be the Disney Store. He knows we go in the store every time without fail, but he had to still ask 15 times. We get in there, do our thing and move on. Coming up to the food court, we usually pass by, go around to Rain Forest Cafe and then back. Alex was not happy with this decision because apparently he had been bitten by the hungry monster. I got him settled down, but not before Evan threw a fit for having to leave Rain Forest Cafe. I get to the food court and pick a line to get them food where Alex decides he no longer wants to be patient and screams his head off the whole time we are in line. I get to the table and get settled but I can tell Evan isn't focused. He wants to go play by the toys and the play area which I am not ready to do because Alex was still eating. Evan continued to push my buttons on the issue and I finally lost it when he disappeared on me. I was wiping Alex down and gathering the trash when Evan vanished. It was busy so I panicked. I did a quick scan of the area and then called his name. He came out from behind the trash can where I couldn't see him. That was it, I was DONE. I told him we were leaving and I wasn't going to do this on my own. That's when the tantrum began. It lasted all the way back to the place where we came in which is half way around the mall. I stopped three times to try and get him to calm down before taking his hand and pulling him along just to get out of there. Everyone was looking and turning their heads at this point and all I could do is look straight ahead and walk as fast as I could.
I have never in my life been more humiliated and embarrassed. I know it happens to all of us - or maybe not, but I hope it NEVER happens to me again. I felt alone without any control. I came home really upset, but I did take some time to go online and get some tips on what I am doing wrong. We enjoy going out and doing things but I want to be able to do those things now and not have to wait for the kids to get older to listen and what not. I am not sure I will look back at this experience in 5 years and laugh because even now I am not happy it happened, but just as everything in life it was an experience nonetheless.
Not all parenting comes naturally....let me tell you and everyday brings a new challenge. Sometimes I wonder as I am going through this roller coaster - if other people go through it as well. Then, I see the responses I get from my post on Facebook and I see that I am not the only one. So, for all of you out there with toddlers or infants, I guess we are all in the same boat, it happens to the best of us and IT IS going to get better. We just have to stay strong and believe it.
